Daily Acts of Sisu: Letting myself sleep in and wake up without an alarm, running 15 miles instead of the planned 18 because my phone was about to die and trusting that I will still be properly trained on the day of my ultra, finding time for both chores and friends
Time is an interesting thing.
It’s elastic.
Feels different in so many different circumstances.
I noticed again on today’s run what I wrote about before.
When I get out of the house and do something that takes a long time, especially if it takes me out of myself, then time and how I spend it doesn’t matter so much.
I struggle with sleeping in on weekends because of this conditioned desire to maximize my time.
It is hard because I have a positive feedback loop around this.
Especially at this point in a training cycle, where I do need 3-5 hours per weekend day for running, it makes sense to wake up earlier so I have more time to do things.
But it is a fine balance.
At some point when you’re trying to escape one possibility (not doing fun things on your weekend) you become caged by its opposite (needing to constantly do things all weekend long so that I can prove I have made the most of my time).
I need to slow down more, I know this.
But it is hard when there is so much I want to do,
My health and wellbeing are calling for a bit of both.
Both the feelings of freedom and adventure and some extra sleep and rest.
It may take more experimenting to get closer to sustainability, but I know I need to try.
It is not worth the aura symptoms to be operating at a thousand all the time.
Especially when they have a nasty habit of falling on a day when I have something fun planned.
I need to find a way to enjoy my life and have time to rest and soak it all in as well.
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